Respect is quite the cultural buzzword. Try a quick Google search of the word; you’ll have over one billion results at your fingertips. Aretha sang about it; we talk and tweet about it; and yet—when it comes to understanding and showing respect, I often wonder if we’re missing something. We as a generation have a reputation for being especially disrespectful. Why is that?
In today’s society, “instant” is everywhere: instant oatmeal, instant messaging, Instagram. Countless dollars are thrown into get-rich-quick schemes and diets that promise immediate results. The Google search I mentioned above? It would take 1.2 seconds. The speed and ease with which we communicate is staggering. While this may be convenient, I believe it has done nothing to cultivate or encourage an attitude of respect.
Respect is often not instant. On the contrary, it is thoughtful and intentional. The dictionary definition of respect, the noun, is “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.” On the most basic level, we should show respect to everyone with whom we come into contact because of their intrinsic value as a creature of the Creator. Whether or not I can detect any impressive abilities or qualities in a person, they were created by and deeply loved by the God of the Universe—that’s the only “quality” I need to know. But the more profound level of respect comes from knowing someone deeply. And depth, by definition, takes time to develop.
In my own life, I often fail to show respect when I am in a hurry. I make important decisions with the click of a button. The downside to this “insta-world” is that it has trained me to act now, reflect later, and apologize if necessary. Anyone with a Twitter account has probably experienced the regret of sending an impulsive, contentious tweet; everyone on Ouachita’s campus can remember last year’s controversy over “chapel tweet.” If I spent 30 minutes (or even 30 seconds) reflecting on a situation, my tweets, emails, and texts would probably look radically different. This may all sound a bit extreme, but if we are to cultivate an attitude of respect, we have to train ourselves to respond more slowly. Respectfulness is not something we can stumble into. It doesn’t happen by accident.
Society also puts a premium on feelings, but as we mature in our views of respect, we understand that it is more than the outward display of positive feelings toward someone. My respect for a person is not determined in a split second or a single situation. Our deep respect is the result of an accumulation of experiences over time. Even when I don’t “feel” like showing someone respect—or when they may not be acting in a manner worthy of respect at the time—I can remember all the other times that they did. In this way, respect contains an element of grace. May we grow in both.
