Guys, I think it’s safe to say that the chick flick is the bane of our existence. It is a potent poison. It has squashed the hopes and dreams of the everyman. It delights in fulfilling the wildest dreams of all our girlfriends and then leaves us to wallow in our mediocrity. It has the power to ruin relationships and, in the eyes of most men, it is an evil that simply has to be stopped.
But rejoice, O men of Ouachita, for I bring good news: despite the rumors, it also has the power to entertain. I have discovered a trove of chick flicks that even the manliest of menfolk may be able to enjoy. Naturally, you’re going to have to put up with some amount of “cheese” in a lot of these, but what do you expect? You aren’t watching “Black Hawk Down.” However, if you go into it with a good attitude, these movies can be enjoyable and your girl will get a kick out of watching something she likes with you. When she sends you to Movie Gallery, spare yourself “Sleepless in Seattle.” Because you could be Prince Charming in the flesh and Tom Hanks would still make you look bad.
You don’t know it yet, but you secretly enjoy “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.” Don’t let the disgustingly cute DVD cover fool you: it’s a legitimately funny movie with both quick, witty dialogue and characters that you could swear are based on your own friends. You’ll think you know the girl who loses it after a weeklong relationship. You’ll recognize Adam Goldberg’s “partner in crime” role. Girls, you get Matthew McConaughey. We get Kate Hudson. Trust me, guys. It’s a win-win.
“Just Married” is another surprisingly good popcorn flick. If you like the stupid humor of Kelso from “That 70’s Show,”Ashton Kutcher plays the same moronic role here. A movie about a honeymoon gone completely wrong, “Just Married” is well-paced and laugh-out-loud funny. Brittany Murphy turns in a pretty forgettable performance, but Kutcher makes this one worth seeing.
You may want to work up to this, but you’d be surprised by the number of movies that can pass as chick flicks that are, in actuality, sports comedies. If you can bear Rosie O’Donnell (and I understand that’s a big “if”), give “A League of Their Own” a try. “Fever Pitch” is a romantic comedy that spends a good chunk of time on the baseball diamond and I have never met a girl who told me she hated “Field of Dreams.”
If you’re feeling particularly brave-hearted (sorry, I couldn’t resist), you can occasionally pull a fast one on her. “Top Gun” usually seems to go over pretty well with the girls, probably because you aren’t as pretty as Tom Cruise was when he was 24. I know a ton of ladies who really go for the heroics in those epic movies: “Gladiator,” “The Last of the Mohicans,” and “Lord of the Rings” are a few that really work well. Watch “Red Eye” for a good thriller (a great one if you want to hold her hand) and watch “Meet Joe Black” if you want to see Brad Pitt get hit by a car. And, honestly, who doesn’t like one of those two things?
Picking a good date movie is an art and the only way to get better is by practicing. There are a lot of films out there that you can both enjoy, so take the time to go to Movie Gallery together and pick something out. After all, sitting down to a good flick with a sweet chick is a perfect study break and makes for a date she’ll want to tell her friends about. And at some point in time in every relationship, you need to sit down with her and watch Casablanca. You just need to.
As a side note, I’m single. So it’s possible that I’m off the deep end. Maybe you should take Brandt’s advice from a couple weeks ago and avoid women at all costs.
