I’ve recently discovered something that deeply, utterly disturbs me: “Dirty Dancing” is being remade. My little heart stuttered to a stop as I read that the classic dance movie was going to be recast and filmed as a television movie. I can’t ever fully explain how much of a disappointment that this is, but I’m going to take a fair whack at it.
There is a growing trend in the movie industry to simply remake films as they celebrate some important mile-marker anniversary. Not only does this show a lack of artistic originality, but it just upsets the world of movie-lovers that someone dared to reproduce something like a classic.
One of the few exceptions was the 2010 version of “True Grit.” Originally released in 1969, it starred Kim Darby as Mattie, Glen Campbell as Texas Ranger La Boeuf and “The Duke,” John Wayne, as Marshal Rooster Cogburn. This all-star cast seemed “nigh uncatchable,” as the older generation would say, but in the 2010 version, Jeff Bridges and Matt Damon performed extremely well. Even the newcomer, Hailee Steinfeld, portrayed her stubborn, “12-year-old going on 20” character with phenomenal professionalism and class. The addition of Barry Pepper as the leader of the elusive “Lucky Ned Pepper Gang” was a welcome flavor of originality.
Overall, I thought the new script was very well developed, the simply structured grammar contributing to the precocious nature of the child within the story. And as much as I love “The Duke,” I still thought that Jeff Bridges aced the disgruntled, drunken old man. My father summed it up best, I believe, saying, “If John Wayne were still alive, he’d be carrying Jeff Bridges’ luggage.”
Aside from this, I don’t know of many movies successfully remade. In fact, I can produce a significant number of examples to suggest that remakes are never okay. The first of which being “The Sound of Music.” This epic 1965 musical starred the elegantly flawless Julie Andrews and the ever-chivalrous heartthrob, Christopher Plummer. Their portrayal of the Von Trapp family sponsored generations of Allied pride after the Second World War, years of inspiration for the Western dreamers and numerous family movie nights.
Just a few years ago, ABC produced a live version featuring Carrie Underwood as Maria Von Trapp. As talented as she is, I hate to say that she simply was not the timeless classic that Julie Andrews was. I spent the entire show wanting it to be over, on the verge of tears, but still hoping that they might pull it off. I was inevitably disappointed.
Another example lies in the 1985 American drama, “Red Dawn.” This also stars Patrick Swayze and an all-star cast of anybody who was anybody in the ‘80s. Depicting a Cold War conflict, this teen story exemplifies the American fear of Communism and the will to fight back against it. The remake, released in 2012, was a serious blow to the old magic. Replacing the Russian invaders with North Koreans was the best possible option, but this addition had a loose application to life. Russian paratroopers in the mid-‘80s was definitely influential, but the plot-line of this film was loosely strewn together. The only bright spot was the performance by Chris Hemsworth, and he looked pretty good in the meantime.
Perhaps the most infuriating of remakes was the attempt at “Casablanca.” (Why would you even try that?) This 1942 film has been graven into the marble halls of film fame. Six of the movie’s quotes have been listed on the American Film Institute’s Greatest Movie Quotes of All Time list. In 1980, they tried their hand at a spinoff with some convoluted South American twist and titled it “Caboblanco.” Two miniseries tries joined the queue in 1955 on ABC and 1983 on NBC. The biggest heat that ever came up was when a production team paid to have it colorized in 1984.
The list could go on and on with titles like “Sabrina” (1954 and 1995), “Psycho” (1960 and 1988), “Ben-Hur” (1959 and 2016), or “Planet of the Apes” (1963 and 2001). There are some movies that can be remade, as I conceded above, but a classic never can.
You can’t hear “Frankly, my dear,” without hearing Clark Gable sigh at a sniveling Vivian Leigh. You can’t hear, “Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine,” without seeing Bogart crying over his bourbon in Rick’s Café Americain. There is no “A boy’s best friend is his mother,” without Anthony Perkins awkwardly stuttering to a nervous Janet Leigh, and no one can quote lines of T.S. Elliot better than Dennis Hopper in the wilds of Vietnam.
Abby Scuito once said on “NCIS,” “A camera doesn’t think, it just records.” I think this best explains the situation. There are some scenes, some expressions, some lines and some faces that will never be replaced. Some moments were just lucky. The tears on Ingrid Bergman’s face when Rick leaves, the sweat on Charlton Heston’s brow as he kills a Philistine, the fear in Martin Sheen’s eyes as he awakes from a nightmare and the giggles from Jennifer Grey as Johnny Castle teaches her to dance. Those can’t be replaced. They can’t be engineered with a fancier camera or an expanded budget. Those moments are glimpses of American history, ageless artifacts of a simpler time. To try some advantageous marketing ploy on previous success is not just cheating and unoriginal, it’s embarrassingly sinful.
While I know my foolish rants will get me nowhere, I still pray that this production team won’t put “Dirty Dancing” ‘in a corner,’ because any deviation from a black-leather clad Patrick Swayze would be a sin against art.
– By Julia Williams, Copy Editor
