The Flipside offers different viewpoints by Aspen Grams and Katie Steele, co-editors of the Online Signal, on campus issues. In light of Dating, Engagement and Marriage Week, this week’s article gives you two sides to the world of dating. One side gives ladies day-by-day tips on how to get a man by the end of this week. The other offers tips on how to lose one.How to Lose a Guy in 5 Days
by: Katie Steele
If you’re anything like me, you have been in relationships before that ended a little sooner than you would have liked – and by relationship, of course I mean friendship gone “major crush, then crash.”
There’s a chance the dozens of boys I’m referring to just plain weren’t into me. Or, as is more likely the case, perhaps I did things (repeatedly) that ran them off.
I saw the pattern time and time again. I watched words almost physically fall out of my mouth like vomit when I just knew I shouldn’t say them again, and yet I did. I caught myself “accidentally” bumping into said boys after their 10 a.m. class in Hickingbotham. It was a sad existence.
Regardless of the fact that I knew exactly what I was doing as I consciously repeated the same mistakes over and over again, I blazed right on through thinking to myself each time, Maybe this boy will appreciate my excessive clinginess.
Therefore, with Dating, Engagement and Marriage Week taking center stage this week, Aspen and I thought it entirely appropriate to do a Flipside on How to Get and Lose a Guy in 5 Days.
Since I was the resident expert on repelling boys like OFF! repels mosquitoes, I was assigned the “Lose a Guy” side.
So, without further ado, I give you “How to lose a guy in 5 days:”
5. Too much, too soon. Start planning your future with him right away.
4. Speed up your disclosure rate. Make sure you tell him your entire life story on the first date, leaving nothing up to the imagination.
3. Get a “love fern.” As if a new girl in his life isn’t enough, every guy needs a plant to take care of now.
2. Mother him. He wants a girlfriend, not a mother. Refrain from licking your finger and wiping that smudge off his face.
1. Social media overload. If you want him to flee fast, too much is not enough. Facebook, text, Tweet, chat him any time you can. If he doesn’t respond within a couple of minutes, keep trying until he does …
It’ll be to end things.
How to Get a Guy in 5 Days
by: Aspen Grams
When trying to figure out the best way to get a man, I had a difficult time. In the end, it was Disney who helped me write this article. I looked at the Disney Princesses. If it worked for them, surely it will work for you too!
Day 1. When you first meet, remain completely anonymous
Day 2. Run away from him when he tries to get to know you
Day 3. Let him see you prancing around campus, singing to the squirrels
Day 4. Sing to him
Day5. Pretend to be dead
Hopefully, this was helpful. I encourage you to try these tips out, then let me know how well it worked for you. If you can get through these tips in less than 5 days, then you have a very good chance at snagging that lucky man! Good luck!
