Don’t punk out on Valentine’s Day
“Hello,” Bob said as he approached his lady love. “Mandatory couple participation holiday number one is upon us once more.” “Did you get me…
How to beat your chest
If your testosterone levels aren’t high enough to make an alpha-mongoose at the height of his mating season stand aside in fearful respect, you…
Why you need a lawn chair
“Well,” I said, clasping my hands somberly, “I guess he’s finally dead.” The remains of our dear comrade lay there on the hot concrete,…
Basics of Love Poem Writing
Let’s say you have a girlfriend. The best girlfriend. She could be Scarlet Johansson’s stunt double, she’s not naggy or overly emotional or annoying,…
Gurdon Light: Murdered Railroad Worker Haunts (Tracks)
“If you see the light and try to run away from it because you’re scared, it’ll show up right behind you.” said Sherry…
Has Society Lost Appreciation for ‘The Chase?’
Sir Eldridge Dashingstache crouched patiently behind the curtains of his enemie’s fifth story bedroom window. Watching. Waiting. Tweet…
Sleep Deprivation May Lead to ‘Emotional, Medical Issues’
“I’m tired.” This could be the official motto of college students. Tweet…
Grant Center to Undergo Renovations
Students often joke about “living” in the building that houses their respective departments. Tweet…
Gaston: True American Hero
“What’s the matter, Gaston, too kind hearted?” snarled the beast. Yellowed fangs shining in the dim moonlight, the terrible monster closed in on our…
Advertising, PR Class Provides Real-World Experience
People go to college to prepare themselves for the real world. However, some classes are geared more towards this goal than others. Tweet…