Nadine Frazier. It isn’t a name that sounds particularly familiar. It doesn’t come across as important or famous. It’s just a name. But behind every name is a story of grace.
Born in Bismarck, Ark., on Dec. 21, 1929, Nadine Frazier is the youngest of four children. Her life has been filled with events-one after another-that have shaped her to this day. It pains me that one of the only things she can remember about her childhood is losing her father.
“I didn’t know him that well,” she said painfully, with tears welling up in her eyes. “I was the baby. I was five when it happened.”
Her father was killed instantly when an electrical wire fell on him at work on a normal day. That day has affected her life ever since.
“It was hard because I couldn’t understand it,” she said. “He was out at work and they were gathering corn and he was working for this farm. I was out playing and I heard my brother hollering. That’s lived with me because I was the baby.”
The struggle in her eyes, the lines of experience on her face and the gut wrenching resonance of her voice show the depth of tragedy she has been through in the 73 years she has been alive.
After her father’s death, her mother remarried and Nadine’s family began to move around a lot. She was still able to finish school, but it was difficult because she never stayed in one school for very long.
“I did get my diploma, but I don’t know where it is,” she said.
At the age of 20, she was married to John W. Frazier, United States Army. He was already serving in the army when they were met.
“He spent 20-something years in the Army,” she said. “But I wasn’t married to him the whole time. I divorced him because he was running around, just drinking and running around.”
Being married did, however, open up a wide variety of travel experiences for Nadine during their marriage. Because he was in the Army, Nadine was able to travel a lot with him to wherever he was stationed.
“He was stationed in Germany, close to England and I got to go there quite a bit,” she said. “We could drive there but our car was old.”
During their travels Nadine visited Germany, Switzerland, France, England, Italy, Austria and Korea-more countries than most of us will see in our combined lifetimes.
“When I was in France I got to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower,” she said with excitement, remembering the joy of that day.
She recalled one night when they were flying to Korea and they flew over Hawaii. It was dark when they flew over and she was so upset that they couldn’t see the beautiful beaches. She recalled her disappointment in the event as if it was just yesterday.
As her life progressed, she got sick and moved to a nursing home in Hot Springs, until she got a call from Twin Rivers Center for Health and Rehabilitation in Arkadelphia, Ark. Her sister was very sick and was nearing death. Nadine decided to move nursing homes in order to be with her in her last days.
“I went and saw her as much as I could,” she said. “I just wanted to be with her.”
She pointed to a picture on the wall of her sister right before she died.
“It hurts,” she whispered.
I couldn’t say anything. I just looked at her with as much love as I could muster.
She now lives in room 309 of Twin Rivers where I visit her once a week. Playing her music and asking about her day, I try to keep her company and keep her laughing.
Connected to an oxygen machine 24/7-she stays in her room all day. She can’t leave because she gets too hot. I often wonder how many years it has been since she’s been outside.
Despite all that’s going on, she stays light hearted and never fails to give me a smile when I walk in the door. She treats me like I’m the only friend she needs.
“You’re my best friend,” she often tells me.
To others, she says, “This is my girl.”
I asked her how she deals with all of the things in her life now. I asked her what keeps her going in the midst of all her struggle.
“I’m determined,” she said.
She pointed to the worn out Bible on the end of her bed with a huge smile on her face. She shows off her large print Bible quite often.
“Me and the Lord have this deal here,” she said. “See how worn my Bible is.”
She has genuine love and need for the Lord. It always makes me laugh when I play Amazing Grace for her on the guitar and she smiles and says, “Oh my goodness, you wrote that?”
I just smile and say yes every time.
Nadine gives me joy because she has every reason to be sad. She has every reason to be angry. She has every reason to feel alone. But she finds hope in God. She finds joy in the little things and I find joy in her. I find joy in the fact that she thinks the world of me, when I give up one measly hour of my time every week to come see her. What grace, what amazing grace.
